tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9657042692033216852023-11-15T10:18:52.344-08:00Grammar HammerEmily Neelemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05190478283643972020noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-965704269203321685.post-6664845019919518272013-11-12T09:46:00.002-08:002013-11-12T09:46:29.188-08:00Blog 12<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="background: yellow; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-highlight: yellow;">The topic my students were given to
discuss, civil disobedience in comparison to breaking the law, pulled out
strengths in the students’ writing because they seemed to be passionate about
the subject. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[APPOSITIVE SET OFF MY COMMAS]. Each paper is strong
in its own way. This is interesting because the students appear to come from
different backgrounds. Student 1 is clearly an <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">English as a Second Language (ESL)</span> student
[APPOSITIVE SET OFF BY PARENTHESES]. While he has a strong and interesting
argument, he makes mistakes most native speakers would not. Student 2 grew up
in a different atmosphere – <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">her
argument and syntax, strong and interesting, indicates that she grew up</span>
in a middle-class community, and interacted with many adults throughout her
childhood [ADJECTIVES OUT-OF-ORDER]. Student 3 grew up somewhere in the middle
of Students 1 and 2; he grew up a native English speaker, but in an environment
with not a lot of adult speakers and writers for him to feed off of. He is a
strong writer, but has some issues with verb tenses that Student 2 does not. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Paper
1: “Civil Disobedience VS. Breaking The Law”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Student
1 grew up in a household where English is not the first language; this is
especially clear in some of his word choices. For example, <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">he refers to Beth as pleading
“innocence” </span><span style="background: aqua; mso-highlight: aqua;">rather than</span><span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;"> “innocent”</span> [PRESENT
PARTICIPIAL PHRASE NOT CONNECTED TO THE MAIN VERB] [USE OF ‘THAN’]. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Most native speakers would know
the phrase – “pleading innocent” – from simply hearing it throughout their life</span>
[APPOSITIVE SET OFF BY DASHES]. It is a common phrase in English, but not
necessarily in other languages. Another common English phrase Student 1
attempts to use is “on the other hand”. He changed the word “on” to “in”. The
way he changed the common English phrase is another indication that he did not
grow up in an English speaking family. He had probably heard the phrase before
from native English speakers, and misheard it. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Young speakers have a tendency to muddle their words when
speaking, so it is no surprise that Student 1 confused the phrase in his
writing</span> [PAST PARTICIPIAL PHRASE NOT CONNECTED TO THE MAIN VERB]. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Other words Student 1 mixes up
are: “indeed”, “been”, and “thought”</span> [APPOSITIVE SET OFF BY A COLON]. In
the context, the words he was looking for were “in need”, “being”, and “think”.
Native English speakers would not make these confusions because they can be
fixed by a familiarity with the spoken language. When students grow up hearing
the language spoken all around them, there are certain rules they understand
but can’t articulate because they can just <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">hear</i>
what the sentence is supposed to be. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">How would our writing change if we weren’t hearing the language spoken
all around us every day?</span> [RHETORICAL QUESTION].</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="background: yellow; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-highlight: yellow;">Student 1’s use of varying sentence
structure indicates that he is becoming more comfortable with the English
language – enough to explore</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> [DASH TO EPHASIZE THE LAST ELEMENT
OF THE SENTNECE]. He also experiments with punctuation. English punctuation is
very different from other languages, so the fact that he is willing to do show
also indicates his growing relationship with English. Toward the end of the
paper, he uses a semi-colon and appears to be using it correctly. He says,
“Chris knew what he was doing; he knew that he was risking a ticket because…”
He understands that when using a semi-colon, the writer should be relating the
first part of the sentence to the second part. He uses the second part of the
semi-colon to expand on the first. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Then, he makes sure that both sides of the semi-colon are complete
sentences –</span> it cannot be determined for sure that the second part is a
complete sentence because it is cut off, but it appears as though it is going
to be a complete sentence [USE OF ‘THEN’]. </span></div>
Emily Neelemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05190478283643972020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-965704269203321685.post-34016096746356017462013-11-04T18:05:00.000-08:002013-11-04T23:01:00.024-08:00Blog 11<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Both Mary Shelley and Charles Dickens
use delusion to add complexity to their characters in <u>Frankenstein</u><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>and <u>Hard Times</u>. Victor
Frankenstein and Thomas Gradgrind start out as rational characters, but
eventually turn to madness and irrationality as the novels develop. Both Victor
and Gradgrind structure their lives around Utilitarianism ideas which in turn lead
them to act irrationally and even go mad. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Gradgrind’s irrationality spawned from the way he structured
his school curriculum around the Utilitarian ideas of the 19<sup>th</sup>
century; Utilitarianism is essentially the idea that people should structure
their lives and society to do the greatest good for the greatest number of
people</span> [COMPOUND SENTENCE – TWO SENTENCES OF MIRRORING LENGTH CONNECTED
BY A SEMICOLON]. However, this is a problem because the individuals who are not
part of the greatest number of people are forgotten and not taken care of. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Utilitarianism is fundamentally
arguing that there is no point to try and satisfy everyone because it is
impossible, so instead they should try to satisfy as many as they can</span>
[DIRECT OBJECT (IT)]. As both Gradgrind and Victor later exemplify, people
instead need to believe that everyone can be made happy, and then strive to do
so in as many ways as possible rather than initially setting their standards
low. However, to the people of Coketown, Utilitarianism ideas would be the
perfect way to structure a society. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Coketown’s school system is completely factually based, and Gradgrind,
the school principal, sees no value in concepts such as: grief; affection;
anger; desire; or empathy</span> [SEMICOLON USED AS A SUPER COMMA]. He is very
logical, so a society based off numbers makes perfect sense to him. However,
because Gradgrind structured his life around Utilitarianism ideas, his children
made irrational decisions based off that upbringing, such as robbing a bank and
marrying an unstable, greedy man.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A society based off Utilitarianism
essentially strips all the value from the individual and leads people, such as
Tom and Louisa Gradgrind, to act selfishly because they are trained to believe
that they do not need to worry about individuals around them, only the greatest
number of people. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Because
Gradgrind taught these values in his school and in his home, his children grew
up with the same beliefs</span> [SENTENCE BEGINNING WITH ‘BECAUSE’]. Tom
Gradgrind grew up to be narcissistic and egotistical. He showed this when he asked
Louisa, his sister, to marry Bounderby as a favor to him even though he knew
she did not love Bounderby at all. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Louisa, on the other hand, is actually rather selfless because she
agreed to marry Bounderby for her brother</span> [USE OF A SUBJECT COMPLIMENT].
<span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">However, this is because
she was naturally born selfless, and as a result of her father’s upbringing,
she led a confused life where she was always fighting her emotions and selfless
nature because it was what she had always been taught</span> [‘HOWEVER’ USED IN
A SENTENCE]. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Despite her
selfless nature, she blindly followed what her brother asked of her because it
was a logical idea, and eventually lived a childless and depressed life during
her marriage and thereafter</span> [OBJECT OF THE PREPOSITION USED IN A
COMPOUND SENTENCE].</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background: yellow; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-highlight: yellow;">Utilitarianism,
the idea of creating happiness for the greatest number of people possible,
seems like the ideal way to structure government because the largest amount of
people possible are made happy; however, numbers aren’t everything</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">
[COMPOUND SENTENCE - ONE LONG SENTENCE CONNECTED TO A SHORT SENTENCE BY A
SEMICOLON]. Life is more complicated than Utilitarianism’s cut and dry way approach
to happiness. Sissy Jupe was right when she said it in fact matters a great
deal if there are a few deaths per one thousand men; for the families of those
few men, the deaths are devastating. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Everyone should be happy, instead of just the greatest number</span>
[COMPLEX SENTENCE WITH 10 WORDS OR FEWER]. There is more power in the
individual than Utilitarianism allows; each individual has the ability to have
a profound impact on someone or something. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Then he individual all the power in the world</span>
[FRAGMENT USED AS A RHETORICAL DEVICE]. </span></div>
Emily Neelemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05190478283643972020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-965704269203321685.post-4512739369706890642013-11-04T18:02:00.000-08:002013-11-04T23:02:40.509-08:00Blog 11<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Both Mary Shelley and Charles Dickens
use delusion to add complexity to their characters in <u>Frankenstein</u><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>and <u>Hard Times</u>. Victor
Frankenstein and Thomas Gradgrind start out as rational characters, but
eventually turn to madness and irrationality as the novels develop. Both Victor
and Gradgrind structure their lives around Utilitarianism ideas which in turn lead
them to act irrationally and even go mad. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Gradgrind’s irrationality spawned from the way he structured
his school curriculum around the Utilitarian ideas of the 19<sup>th</sup>
century; Utilitarianism is essentially the idea that people should structure
their lives and society to do the greatest good for the greatest number of
people</span> [COMPOUND SENTENCE – TWO SENTENCES OF MIRRORING LENGTH CONNECTED
BY A SEMICOLON]. However, this is a problem because the individuals who are not
part of the greatest number of people are forgotten and not taken care of. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Utilitarianism is fundamentally
arguing that there is no point to try and satisfy everyone because it is
impossible, so instead they should try to satisfy as many as they can</span>
[DIRECT OBJECT (IT)]. As both Gradgrind and Victor later exemplify, people
instead need to believe that everyone can be made happy, and then strive to do
so in as many ways as possible rather than initially setting their standards
low. However, to the people of Coketown, Utilitarianism ideas would be the
perfect way to structure a society. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Coketown’s school system is completely factually based, and Gradgrind,
the school principal, sees no value in concepts such as: grief; affection;
anger; desire; or empathy</span> [SEMICOLON USED AS A SUPER COMMA]. He is very
logical, so a society based off numbers makes perfect sense to him. However,
because Gradgrind structured his life around Utilitarianism ideas, his children
made irrational decisions based off that upbringing, such as robbing a bank and
marrying an unstable, greedy man.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A society based off Utilitarianism
essentially strips all the value from the individual and leads people, such as
Tom and Louisa Gradgrind, to act selfishly because they are trained to believe
that they do not need to worry about individuals around them, only the greatest
number of people. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Because
Gradgrind taught these values in his school and in his home, his children grew
up with the same beliefs</span> [SENTENCE BEGINNING WITH ‘BECAUSE’]. Tom
Gradgrind grew up to be narcissistic and egotistical. He showed this when he asked
Louisa, his sister, to marry Bounderby as a favor to him even though he knew
she did not love Bounderby at all. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Louisa, on the other hand, is actually rather selfless because she
agreed to marry Bounderby for her brother</span> [USE OF A SUBJECT COMPLIMENT].
<span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">However, this is because
she was naturally born selfless, and as a result of her father’s upbringing,
she led a confused life where she was always fighting her emotions and selfless
nature because it was what she had always been taught</span> [‘HOWEVER’ USED IN
A SENTENCE]. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Despite her
selfless nature, she blindly followed what her brother asked of her because it
was a logical idea, and eventually lived a childless and depressed life during
her marriage and thereafter</span> [OBJECT OF THE PREPOSITION USED IN A
COMPOUND SENTENCE].</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background: yellow; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-highlight: yellow;">Utilitarianism,
the idea of creating happiness for the greatest number of people possible,
seems like the ideal way to structure government because the largest amount of
people possible are made happy; however, numbers aren’t everything</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">
[COMPOUND SENTENCE - ONE LONG SENTENCE CONNECTED TO A SHORT SENTENCE BY A
SEMICOLON]. Life is more complicated than Utilitarianism’s cut and dry way approach
to happiness. Sissy Jupe was right when she said it in fact matters a great
deal if there are a few deaths per one thousand men; for the families of those
few men, the deaths are devastating. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Everyone should be happy, instead of just the greatest number</span>
[COMPLEX SENTENCE WITH 10 WORDS OR FEWER]. There is more power in the
individual than Utilitarianism allows; each individual has the ability to have
a profound impact on someone or something. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Then he individual all the power in the world</span>
[FRAGMENT USED AS A RHETORICAL DEVICE]. </span></div>
Emily Neelemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05190478283643972020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-965704269203321685.post-55431694173898661912013-10-28T23:42:00.000-07:002013-10-28T23:42:01.121-07:00Blog 10 <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Shakespeare appears to be cynical about
the human race in his portrayals of the characters in some of his most noted
plays. To name a few, Richard III, Aaron, and Bolingbroke all act in ways that
would send them to the most internal circles of Dante’s hell. Some believe that
even his comedies, such as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Midsummer
Night’s Dream,</i> have cynical qualities that make people question whether or
not Shakespeare believes “true love” exists.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background: yellow; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-highlight: yellow;">Shakespeare
spends most of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Midsummer Night’s Dream </i>convincing
the audience that love is fleeting, and he pokes fun at the idea of true love
with Oberon’s use of “love juice” on the lovers and Titania</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">
[COMPOUND SENTENCE]. However, in the last act he gives the sliver of hope that
is “Pyramus and Thisbe;” this leads me to believe he does not have a concrete
idea of what love is. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Who
are we to decide what love is anyway?</span> [USE OF ‘WHO’] Because he only
gives dialogue and no stage direction, the play-within-a-play is left up to the
audience’s interpretation. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">We
must decide who is in love with whom, and which love is real</span> [USE OF
‘WHOM’]. Shakespeare recognizes the fact that there are many different types of
love in the world, and it is not up to one person to decide whether or not that
love is “true.” It is up to the lovers alone. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The portrayal of “Pyramus and Thisbe” in
performance is pivotal to giving meaning to the play; when a director
misunderstands Shakespeare’s notion to keep love a mystery, the whole point of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Midsummer Night’s Dream </i>can be missed.
<span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Michael Clemons’ 1999
version</span> [USE OF POSESSION ON A SINGULAR NOUN ENDING IN ‘S’] captures the
essence of Shakespeare’s underlying message in act five, whereas the British
Broadcasting Corporation version released in <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">1981 misses its mark</span> [USE OF ‘ITS’]. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">BBC’s version of “Pyramus and Thisbe”<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>has no departure from the themes in the
rest of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Midsummer Night’s Dream</i>. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Theirs does not grip the
audience or give them anything to think about. Similar to the previous acts,
the clowns are dopey yet good-natured</span> [USE OF ‘THEIRS’]. During Quince’s
prologue, he is nervous and enthusiastic about showing his play. He fidgets
frequently and his voice shakes, yet when his comrades enter the stage he
becomes more confident. During Quince’s character introductions, the actors
accentuate their poor acting skills by using pantomime to indicate emotions.
When the play begins, Pyramus and Thisbe are mediocre. They use voice
infliction, but with little body language to show the passionate love they feel
for one another – they spend most of the play facing downstage. Pyramus has a
direct departure from his character when he corrects Theseus – he says, “No, in
truth, sir, he should not [curse again]. ‘Deceiving me’ is Thisbe’s cue” (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Midsummer Night’s Dream, </i>5.1.182-183).
The director accentuates this departure by having Bottom take a bit of food
from Theseus’ table before resuming his character. This small act follows suit
with Bottom’s passion for the play and constant desire to be in the spotlight.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">….</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The over-dramatization of “Pyramus and
Thisbe” is countered beautifully with Thisbe’s final monologue after she finds
Pyramus dead. Flute begins his lines, “Asleep, my love? What, dead, my dove” (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Midsummer Night’s Dream,</i> 5.1.320-321)
in his high-pitched girl-voice. Provoked by the audience’s cruel laughter at
his performance, Flute shifts his whole character persona to become <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">tender and sensitive and hurt</span>
[SERIES OF THREE ITEMS CONNECTED WITH ‘AND’ AND NO COMMAS]. He takes off his
wig and assumes a softer voice, filled with emotion when he says “Come, trusty
sword, Come, blade, my breast imbrue” (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A
Midsummer Night’s Dream, </i>5.1.338-339). This character shift is glaring
after 200 lines of farce. He portrays true, unabashed love. In ten lines, Flute
causes the audience to question the idea that Shakespeare had been driving home
throughout the whole play; love is cursory. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">It is the nature of human beings to
strive to find the good in each situation we encounter. Shakespeare allows the
audience to find the good in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Midsummer
Night’s Dream </i>through “Pyramus and Thisbe.” He provides an opportunity to
find hope that true love exists. There are many different types of love in the
world, all unique in their absoluteness<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">. </i>Shakespeare
is right in suggesting that you cannot judge whether true love exists based off
the stories of others. We must ask ourselves <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">whose responsibility it is</span> [USE OF ‘WHOSE’]. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">True love is something you must
find yourself – the responsibility is yours</span> [USE OF ‘YOURS’]. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">It is a secret shared between
the two lovers</span> [SIMPLE SENTENCE]. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">No one else in the world will understand that love,
because we can only understand our own</span> [COMPLEX SENTENCE]. Thank you for
your attention, Max.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Most sincerely,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>Emily Neeleman </span></div>
Emily Neelemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05190478283643972020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-965704269203321685.post-23178679851356160972013-10-22T11:53:00.002-07:002013-10-22T11:53:52.722-07:00Blog 9<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Shakespeare appears to be cynical about
the human race in his portrayals of the characters in some of his most noted
plays. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">To name a few,
Richard III, Aaron, and Bolingbroke all act in ways that would send them to the
most internal circles Dante’s hell; some believe that even his comedies, such
as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Midsummer Night’s Dream,</i> have
cynical qualities that make people question whether or not Shakespeare believes
“true love” exists. I don’t think he knows</span> [Loooong SENTENCE FOLLOWED BY
A SHORT SENTENCE].</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Shakespeare spends most of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Midsummer Night’s Dream </i>convincing the
audience that love is fleeting. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Shakespeare pokes fun at the idea of true love with Oberon’s use of
“love juice” on the lovers and Titania. However, in the last act he gives the
sliver of hope that is “Pyramus and Thisbe;” this leads me to believe he does
not have a concrete idea of what love is</span> [SENTENCE USING HOWEVER].
Because he only gives dialogue and no stage direction or acute audience
reaction, the play-within-a-play is left up to the audience’s interpretation.
Shakespeare recognizes the fact that there are many different types of love in
the world. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Who are we to
decide what love is true?</span> [RHETORICAL QUESTION] It is not up to one
person. It is up to the lovers alone. The portrayal of “Pyramus and Thisbe” in
performance is pivotal to giving meaning to the play </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background: aqua; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-highlight: aqua;">If a
director sees “Pyramus and Thisbe” as merely a funny antidote rather than
Shakespeare’s notion that love a mystery, the whole point of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Midsummer Night’s Dream </i>can be missed</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">
[USE OF “THAN<span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">”]; Michael
Hoffman’s 1999 version captures the essence of Shakespeare’s underlying message
in act five, whereas the British Broadcasting Corporation version released in
1981 misses the mark</span> [ONE SENTENCE PARAGRAPH]. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">BBC’s version of “Pyramus and Thisbe”<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>has no departure from the themes in the
rest of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Midsummer Night’s Dream</i>. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">It does not grip the audience
and give them anything to think about and provoke a deeper meaning from the
play</span> [SIMPLE SENTENCE WITH COMPOUNDED VERBS CONNECTED BY “AND”]. Similar
to the previous acts, the clowns are dopey yet good-natured. During Quince’s
prologue, he is nervous and enthusiastic about showing his play. He fidgets
frequently and his voice shakes, yet when his comrades enter the stage he
becomes more confident. During Quince’s character introductions, the actors
accentuate their poor acting skills by using pantomime to indicate emotions.
When the play begins, Pyramus and Thisbe are mediocre. They use voice
infliction, but with little body language to show the passionate love they feel
for one another – they spend most of the play facing downstage. Pyramus has a
direct departure from his character when he corrects Theseus – he says, “No, in
truth, sir, he should not [curse again]. ‘Deceiving me’ is Thisbe’s cue” (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Midsummer Night’s Dream, </i>5.1.182-183).
The director accentuates this departure by having Bottom take a bit of food
from Theseus’ table before resuming his character. This small act follows suit
with Bottom’s passion for the play and constant desire to be in the spotlight.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">….</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The over-dramatization of “Pyramus and
Thisbe” is countered beautifully with Thisbe’s final monologue after she finds
Pyramus dead. Flute begins his lines, “Asleep, my love? What, dead, my dove” (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Midsummer Night’s Dream,</i> 5.1.320-321)
in his high-pitched girl-voice. Provoked by the audience’s cruel laughter at
his performance, Flute shifts his whole character persona to become tender and sensitive
and hurt. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">He then takes
off his wig and assumes a softer voice, filled with emotion when he says “Come,
trusty sword, Come, blade, my breast imbrue” (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Midsummer Night’s Dream, </i>5.1.338-339)</span> [USE OF “THEN”]. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">This character shift is glaring after
200 lines of farce – and gives the entire play a different meaning</span> [DASH
TO EMPHASIZE LAST ELEMENT OF SENTENCE]. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Shakespeare uses Thisbe to provoke that vital question from
the audience, “does true love exist?”</span> [REAL QUESTION] In ten lines,
Flute causes the audience to question the idea that Shakespeare had been driving
home throughout the whole play – that love is cursory. </span></div>
Emily Neelemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05190478283643972020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-965704269203321685.post-9181935437462040572013-10-14T14:20:00.001-07:002013-10-14T14:20:17.894-07:00BLOG 8: BrushstrokesBLOG 8: BRUSHSTROKES<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Gradgrind’s irrationality spawned from
the way he structured his school curriculum around the Utilitarian ideas of the
19<sup>th</sup> century. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Utilitarianism,
the idea that people should structure their lives to do the greatest good for
the greatest number of people, is a problem because the individuals who are not
part of the greatest number of people are forgotten</span> [BRUSHSTROKE SET OFF
BY COMMAS]. Utilitarianism is fundamentally arguing that there is no point to try
and satisfy everyone because it is impossible, so instead they should try to
satisfy as many as they can. As both Gradgrind and Victor later exemplify,
people instead need to believe that everyone can be made happy, and then strive
to do so in as many ways as possible rather than initially setting their
standards low. However, to the people of Coketown, Utilitarianism ideas would
be the perfect way to structure a society. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Coketown’s school system is completely factually based. Gradgrind
does not believe that anything based off abstract concepts – emotions,
feelings, morals – are worth knowing</span> [BRUSHSTROKE SET OFF BY DASHES]. He
is very logical, so a society based off numbers makes perfect sense to him. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">However, because Gradgrind
structured his life around Utilitarianism ideas, his children made irrational
decisions based off that upbringing (robbing a bank and marrying an unstable
man).</span> [BRUSHSTROKE SET OFF BY PARENTHESES].</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A society based off Utilitarianism
essentially strips all the value from the individual and leads people, such as
Tom and Louisa Gradgrind, to act selfishly because they are trained to believe
that they do not need to worry about individuals around them, only the greatest
number of people. Because Gradgrind taught these values in his school and in
his home, his children grew up with the same beliefs. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">Tom Gradgrind, obedient and compliant, grew up to
be narcissistic and egotistical</span>.[ADJECTIVES OUT OF ORDER]. He showed
this when he asked Louisa<span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">,
his sister,</span> to marry Bounderby as a favor to him even though he knew she
did not love Bounderby at all.[PARTICIPIAL PHRASE]. Louisa, on the other hand,
is actually rather selfless because she agreed to marry Bounderby for her
brother. However, this is because she was naturally born selfless, and as a
result of her father’s upbringing, she led a confused life where she was always
fighting her emotions and selfless nature because it was what she had always
been taught. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">After blindly
following her brother’s wishes into a loveless marriage, Louisa lived a dark
life: childless and alone.</span> [BRUSHSTROKE SET OFF BY COLON].</span></div>
Emily Neelemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05190478283643972020noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-965704269203321685.post-33124938159885837762013-09-30T19:08:00.000-07:002013-09-30T19:08:05.061-07:00BLOG #6<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The
Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Reflection</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I think Junior is already a very mature adolescent. Junior is on the road to his
coming-of-age moment, and he is moving rapidly towards it. Junior recognized
how his reservation was suffocating and held him back from making something big
of his life, even if that only means getting off the reservation and getting a
decent job - or, perhaps, going to college. Junior’s math teacher, Mr. P, was
part of the reason that Junior eventually left the reservation to go to school
at Reardon. However, Junior still recognized the nature of the “rez”. He
watched his best friend getting beat by his own father and do nothing about it,
except become angrier and angrier. Also, Mr. P would not have approached Junior
if he had not thrown a book at Mr. P’s face. Junior was feeling so trapped by
the reservation, and so depressed about the fact that they could not afford new
text books for the students and instead had to use textbooks that were more
than thirty years old. Junior was the one that started the conversation Mr. P
had with him. He was the one that always wanted to get of the reservation. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">In addition to recognizing the stifling nature of his
home, Junior made the valiant decision to attend Reardon, even though he knew
that the kids back home would torment him for it</span> [USING THOUGH TO INTERRUPT A MAIN SENTENCE]. He isolated himself
from both communities. However, he knew attending Reardon was the way to make
something of his life. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Even though Junior is semi-conscious of what other
people think of him, and worries about getting beat up for being an Indian or a
book nerd, he also doesn’t really care</span> [USING THOUGH TO INTERRUPT A MAIN SENTENCE]. On his first day of high school, he
said “I know the other kids are going to give me crap about being so excited
about school. But I don’t care” (Alexie 28). It takes a very mature adolescent
to know that they are going to be made fun of for something, yet still go
through with it because it’s what they care about. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I would even say that Junior has had
some defining moments already; he may not have had his true coming-of-age
moment, but he has made some strong decisions that have helped lead him on the
path to coming-of-age. One instance was when he decided to go to Reardon, even
if it meant losing his best friend and isolating himself. Another was when he
punched Roger for being so racist and mean to him. What Junior’s grandmother
said was true; Roger even respected Junior for standing up to him, even though
he was much larger than him. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Junior even said it himself – even though to most
kids what Junior did wouldn’t be so much of a big deal, to Junior it was
because he was in a way telling the world he was not a human punching bag</span> [USING THOUGH TO INTERRUPT A MAIN SENTENCE]. Junior’s
other defining moments were when he stood up to his “fake science teacher” and
became friends with Gordy. Junior could have sat down in his seat and skated
by, but instead, he stood up to the teacher. He decided to reach out to Gordy. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Because he befriended Gordy, Junior is happier</span> [START A SENTENCE WITH A "BECAUSE" CLAUSE]. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">....</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="background-color: yellow;">Even though Junior is making moves
toward having a better life, he is still stuck in his white and Indian world; there is no
medium<span style="background-color: white;"><span> [SENTENCE USING A SEMI COLON WITH TWO DIFFERENT LENGTH SENTENCES]</span></span></span>. He even shows signs of racism when he is obsessing over Penelope. He
thinks she is absolutely perfect, when she is bulimic and egotistical. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Nor does she have a very redeeming personality</span> [STARTING A SENTENCE WITH NOR]. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Junior
recognizes she has these qualities, but doesn’t care because she is so
beautiful and so 'white'</span> [ENDING A SENTENCE WITH BECAUSE]. He even described her 'white-ness' with great detail. Although
Junior is rapidly maturing, and almost every chapter discovers something new
about his world and how to live in it – not as an Indian, but as a person – he
still cannot get the idea of race separation out of his head. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Maybe he
won’t be able to, because he lives in a community where Indians and white
people feel so segregated; I think Junior’s “who am I and what am I going
to do about it” moment is going to be overcoming the race barrier, and helping
his friends and family do the same</span> [SENTENCE USING A SEMI COLON WITH MIRRORING SENTENCE LENGTHS]. Until then, Junior is continuing down that
path and on the road to adulthood.</span></div>
<br />
Emily Neelemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05190478283643972020noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-965704269203321685.post-55128086625332974182013-09-22T11:38:00.001-07:002013-09-22T11:38:20.596-07:00<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Emily Neeleman</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">September 22, 2013</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"> Blog #6</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">William Woodsworth and Samuel
Coleridge examine nature as it affects man in both their esteemed poems,
“Lines, Composed a Few Miles above Tintern Abbey” and “This Line-tree Bower my
Prison.” <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">The two poets’
speakers have a similar view on nature, but express their views in different
fashions</span>. While “Tintern Abbey” and “Lime-tree Bower” both share a deep
appreciation and reverence for nature, “Tintern Abbey” focuses more on the abstract
concept of nature as a whole, while “Lime-tree Bower” is more concerned with
the aesthetic side of nature.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The speakers in both “Tintern Abbey”
and “Lime-tree Bower” are deeply moved by nature, to the point where it touches
each of their lives in a different way. The speaker in “Lime-tree Bower” goes
through a transformation throughout the poem. In the beginning, he describes
himself as trapped in a lime-tree bower and therefore unable to see the parts
of nature with more grandeur (Coleridge 16). After the sun begins to set,
however, and the surrounding area is bathed in golden sunlight, he begins to
see how each part of nature is beautiful, not just the parts with obvious
beauty (16). He before describes meadows, thick forests, and the ocean as the
splendid aspects of nature (16). However, after spending time sitting trapped
in his lime-tree bower, the speaker realizes that the little aspects of nature
are beautiful too, such as the grass and the bark of the trees. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In contrast to the speaker in
“Lime-tree Bower”, the speaker in “Tintern Abbey” always knew nature was
beautiful. He came back to the outskirts of Tintern Abbey and was profoundly moved
by them once again (Woodsworth 4). When he was a boy he would come to Tintern
Abbey and build memories with the nature surrounding it (4). As an older man,
he still appreciates the same serenity and memories he made there even after he
had seen it many times. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">While
the speaker in “Tintern Abbey” holds great stalk in existing in nature, he also
believes his memories of the nature around Tintern Abbey are important; he says
“Thy memory be as a dwelling-place / For all sweet sounds and harmonies” (5).</span>
Nature had a great impact on both the poems’ speakers’ lives. For the speaker
in “Lime-tree Bower”, the impact was a transformation; the speaker in “Tintern
Abbey” gathered memories from exploring the grounds around Tintern Abbey that
made an impact on his life and his view of nature. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Sentence(s) starting with a FANBOY: The cat chased the mouse down the hall. But, because of the mouse's small nature, it scurried out of reach of the cat.</span></div>
Emily Neelemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05190478283643972020noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-965704269203321685.post-66444069024600393742013-09-14T15:46:00.001-07:002013-09-14T15:46:48.201-07:00
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Emily Neeleman<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Monroe<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">ENG 326.01<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">September 2, 2013<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Dora Learns to Write and in the Process
Encounters Punctuation”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I recently applied for a job at the writing center here
on campus. We had a workshop last week that covered some of the basics of being
a tutor and evaluating someone’s writing. One fundamental they emphasized is
leading the writer in the right direction, rather than telling them exactly
what to do. If we told the writers what to do, they could never apply the rule
by themselves in an effective way. Dora’s teacher applies this same concept
when teaching her how to correctly use periods. She does not simply tell Dora
the rule of periods and expect her to automatically apply that rule in her
writing. Instead, she allows Dora to struggle a little bit while she plays
around with period placement. The teacher allows the class to play around with
their writing because it’s <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">theirs</b>;
she doesn’t take over their writing. She also has Dora read aloud what she
thinks the story should sound like. <u>I think this is a very effective way to
teach period placement; Dora naturally heard the syntax in her writing when she
strategically dropped her voice at the end of a clause</u>. TEACHING STUDENTS
TO EXPLORE PERIOD PLACEMENT THROUGH WRITING AND SPEECH IS AN EFFECTIVE WAY TO
TEACH PERIOD PLACEMENT; DORA NATURALLY HEARD THE SYNTAX IN HER WRITING WHEN SHE
STRATEGICALLY DROPPED HER VOICE AT THE END OF A CLAUSE. [S-V-O] <u>While this
was not the correct place for a period, she was beginning to understand where
periods go through sounds.</u> ALTHOUGH DORA DID NOT PUT HER PERIOD IN THE
CORRECT PLACEMENT, SHE WAS BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND WHERE PERIODS GO THROUGH SOUNDS.
[S-V-O] <u>This is another tactic we employ in the writing center; often times
we ask the tutees if we can read their work aloud</u>. IN THE WRITING CENTER,
WE EMPLY A SIMILAR METHOD AS DORA’S TEACHER; WE OFTEN ASK THE TUTEES IF WE CAN
READ THEIR WORK ALOUD. [S-V-O] This way, they can easier identify the mistakes
in their writing because as <u>writers and readers</u>, we are better at
identification with hearing because we are used to reading other people’s
writing and how grammar should sound. BY DOING SO, THE TUTEES HAVE AN EASIER
TIME IDENTIFYING THE MISTAKES IN THEIR WRITING BECAUSE WE ARE USED TO READING THE
CORRECT GRAMMAR IN OTHER PEOPLE’S WRITING.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>One thing Dora’s teacher does not do, however, is point
out Dora’s glaring mistakes. I think there is a fine line between telling the
student what to do and making sure to snub out reoccurring errors before they
become habit. After Dora was wavering between putting periods at the end of a
page or line, she decided to put them at the end of a line again. Making this
decision, because no one was there to tell her both forms are wrong, affirmed
her belief that periods go at the end of a line when they in fact do not. If
Dora’s teacher had told Dora point-blank earlier that periods do not go at the
end of a line, Dora wouldn’t have had to make that decision and thus affirm her
belief that they go at the end of a line. Doing so made learning the syntactic
rules of periods more difficult for her because she was still caught up in the
notion that periods have a very specific place where they go every time. While
Dora’s teacher was right to let Dora explore a bit when deciding where to place
her periods, I do not think she should have allowed Dora to create a steadfast
rule for herself, because as a student I remember false student-created rules
to be the hardest habits to break. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Exploring different hypotheses is the reason it took Dora
so long to understand period placement. Like most children her age, Dora
explored different placement of periods without much instruction on what was
absolutely wrong. Dora had to go through all the phases of where to place a
period and understand how they are wrong before figuring out where the right
place is to put a period. Additionally, Dora also had the added complexity of
spelling and forming and separating words from phrases. Dora often became
confused and tired of all the work she had to do to become an adequate writer. In
the end, her exploration is what helped her to understand the syntactic rules
of period placement, but not without a lot of work and dedication. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Compound verb: The
students worked on <u>reading</u> in <u>writing</u> in their language arts
class.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Compound subject with
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architects </u>and<u> builders </u>while <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">he</b>
is only a painter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Compound object of
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is heartbreaking for <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">him</b> and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">her</b>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Compound direct object
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">A sentence using <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">who </i>or <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">whoever</i>: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Whoever</i> took my
phone is a dead man.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">A sentence using <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">whom </i>or <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">whomever</i>: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Whom</i> did she
want to see?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Emily Neelemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05190478283643972020noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-965704269203321685.post-87928467438102439592013-09-08T10:29:00.000-07:002013-09-08T10:29:16.810-07:00Dora Part 1<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Emily Neeleman</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Monroe</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ENG 326.01</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">September 2, 2013</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">"Dora Learns to Write and in the Process Encounters Punctuation"</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I recently applied for a job at the writing center here
on campus. We had a workshop last week that covered some of the basics of being
a tutor and evaluating someone’s writing. One fundamental they emphasized is
leading the writer in the right direction, rather than telling them exactly
what to do. If we told the writers what to do, they could never apply the rule
by themselves in an effective way. Dora’s teacher applies this same concept
when teaching her how to correctly use periods. She does not simply tell Dora
the rule of periods and expect her to automatically apply that rule in her
writing. Instead, she allows Dora to struggle a little bit while she plays
around with period placement. The class has to work through their own writing because it's <b>theirs; </b>she does not try and fix their writing for them. She also has Dora read aloud what she thinks the
story should sound like. I think this is a very effective way to teach period
placement; Dora naturally heard the syntax in her writing when she
strategically dropped her voice at the end of a clause. While this was not the
correct place for a period, she was beginning to understand where periods go
through sounds. The writing was easier to read because of <b>its </b>correct punctuation. This is another tactic we employ in the writing center; often
times we ask the tutees if we can read their work aloud. This way, they can
easier identify the mistakes in their writing because as writers and readers,
we are better at identification with hearing because we are used to reading
other people’s writing and how grammar should sound. The writers who come into the writing center, <b>whose </b>writing steadily improves, also feel more confident when they're inserting the punctuation themselves. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>One thing Dora’s teacher does not do, however, is point
out Dora’s glaring mistakes. I think there is a fine line between telling the
student what to do and making sure to snub out reoccurring errors before they
become habit. After Dora was wavering between putting periods at the end of a
page or line, she decided to put them at the end of a line again. Making this
decision, because no one was there to tell her both forms are wrong, affirmed
her belief that periods go at the end of a line when they in fact do not. If
Dora’s teacher had told Dora point blank earlier that periods do not go at the
end of a line, Dora wouldn’t have had to make that decision and thus affirm her
belief that they go a</span>t the end of a line. Doing so made learning the syntactic
rules of period more difficult for her because she was still caught up in the
notion that periods have a very specific place where they go every time. While
Dora’s teacher was right to let Dora explore a bit when deciding where to place
her periods, I do gnot think she should have allowed Dora to create a steadfast
rule for herself, because I remember false student-created rules to be the
hardest habits to break.</div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Exploring different hypotheses is
the reason it took Dora so long to understand period placement. Like most
children her age, Dora explored different placement of periods without much
instruction on what was absolutely wrong. Dora had to go through all the phases
of where to place a period and understand how they are wrong before figuring
out where the right place is to put a period. Additionally, Dora also had the
added complexity of spelling and forming and separating words from phrases.
Dora often became confused and tired of all the work she had to do to become an
adequate writer. In the end, her exploration is what helped her to understand
the syntactic rules of period placement, but not without a lot of work and
dedication. </span>Emily Neelemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05190478283643972020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-965704269203321685.post-47564482926874567072013-08-27T01:14:00.001-07:002013-08-27T01:14:25.972-07:00My Goals...My Goals for this year in English 326...<br />
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Last year I noticed that one of my main issues in my writing is long sentences. Or in other cases, too many sentences. Basically, I write too much. I blab on because my favorite type of writing is descriptive writing, and I can really have a hay day with that. However, in academic papers I want (and need) to be short and concise. I want to get to the point in a clear way. So, this year I want to learn how to put lots of good information into a smaller medium. Refine lots and lots of invaluable words to a solid amount of golden words. I know I will need to focus on sentence structure especially. </div>
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Another issue I had last year especially concerned my voice. I struggled with a balance between casual voice and stiff, boring academic voice. I favor casual writing because for the longest time I wanted to be a journalist. However, I understand the value of formal and professional writing. I want to find a good balance of the two so research papers don't sound stiff and boring, yet while being informational and professional all the while. I think this also has to do with sentence structure. As hard as it is to accomplish, I know sentence structure is what makes writing interesting <i>as well as</i> voice. </div>
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In terms of punctuation, one of my favorite punctuation tactics was the italics (see above). I love the way they put stress on words in a way that shows the reader I am passionate about whatever I am talking about. I used italics to stress the importance or the attention the word should have. However, I know I over-use them. I want to figure out another way to put emphasis in my writing to show passion, without italicizing every other sentence. I want to know how to eliminate excess punctuation with <i>words.</i></div>
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Finally, being that I want to be an English teacher someday, I want to understand the ins and outs of English grammar. I want to pretend English is my second language, and learn all the technical terms for words I use every day but don't really understand what they are. I want to teach English as a second language, and to do so, I need to know the very fundamentals of the English language - stuff I don't think about because I grew up learning English. Additionally, as I am a double major with Spanish, I think learning about the different aspects of the English language will help me in my Spanish studies because I can more easily compare the terms used in Spanish class with the terms as they apply to English. </div>
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Apart from generally becoming a more technical writer, reaching these goals will make me satisfied about the course and excited to teach in the future. (Help with introductions and conclusions might also be useful, as I can't seem to end a piece of writing without some sort of conclusion... dismal as they may be)</div>
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Emily Neelemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05190478283643972020noreply@blogger.com0